You are never ready to start until you start.
My name is Scarlett Pavlova, I am 26 years old and for as long as I can remember, I always wanted to sing. (Actually I’m going to be 28 in may, I wrote this story almost two years ago which kind of proves my point). This is a story of how I began.
I remember perfectly how my 5-year-old self would close my eyes, grasp my hand as if holding a microphone, and start singing in the middle of the room, dreaming that one day I would sing for a large audience. Of course, although completely unfortunate, as you grow fear, insecurities and basically the adult instinct for survival deviates from your goals. So many times hearing mocking and sarcastic comments about how you are going to make a life around art are not exactly the best push, and this worsens if, like me, you were not lucky enough to grow up in a family very open to these issues and rather they educated you to produce and get good grades. I really had no problems, I have always been a nerd but the music became more and more like a dead body buried within me.
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It was thus that with the grace of thousands of excuses I myself was in charge of burying my dreams, at first I was very small and had no decision-making power regarding the extracurricular activities that I did, it was thus that instead of singing classes I spent years in drawing and painting classes. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it, but it wasn’t what I would have chosen. After a few years I began to participate in a TV program in the state where I lived, and it was the best four years of my life, however, as soon as I left that program I was back from scratch once again.
By the time I finished high school I began to study acting because it was my (quite uninformed) way of “venturing into the scene”, I was aware that at the age I was at that time (19 years old), I was already old enough to start what most start at 4 or 5 years old, so that was my way of getting off on a tangent. Guess what? It did not work. I ended up dropping college after a year.
Five years later I finished a bachelor’s degree in Marketing and Advertising because that was the career that my family was going to support me to pursue, because the advise was “study something in order to make a living, then do whatever you want”, for me those words meant seeing my dreams fade once again, to seeing my dreams go further and further.
At 26 years old I woke up one day and thought that I would never be ready, that I would never have all the money, not all the knowledge, or all the talent; there were only two possible paths for me. The first: leave everything, dedicate myself to marketing and forget about my dream. The second? Just do it, (no, this is no sponsored -yet- )even if I didn’t have it all. To dare and take the risk that it would not work but at least without the question “What if …”
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